Friday, January 31, 2003

Season 7 "Buffy" potential spoiler alertification, friends and neighbours... In the spirit of promoting good old-fashioned pith and wit, and celebrating the genius of the finest show on television, "Buffy The Vampire Slayer", why not check out this fine old parody of a blogfest? Go on, you know that you want to...

Fridays are usually pretty good, but when you're going on holiday, they're even better, wouldn't you agree?

Thursday, January 30, 2003

Kind of reads like a dispatch from the great Morpheus on occasion, doesn't it? Still, as regular readers of this blog will no doubt lament and attest, I don't regard that as being a particularly bad thing.

I just wish that I could write stuff that actually, you know, matters.

It would appear that I'm destined to be one of blogging's clownish fraternity, though I suppose that people might feel that we are needed just as much as the provocative, insightful commentators who pop their heads above the parapets from time to time.

Normal service is resumed, worry not - Has anyone seen that "Hulk" trailer, yet? I never thought that I'd live to see the day that Ang Lee directed a superhero flick...

This site, discovered via our very own Blogger's update list, is well worth a look, in these strange and confusing times. It manages to summaris a number of pertinent issues quite a bit better than my meagre intellectual processing capabilities could ever hope to, and sure as hell beats the waste of bandwidth which is this shallow excuse for a blog, though I say it myself. Click here and obtain some food for thought...

Go and see "Catch Me If You Can". You really won't regret it.

Tom Hanks and Leonardo DiCaprio star in a Steven Spielberg-directed caper flick which is well worth your time and attention, portraying, respectively, dogged FBI man Carl Hanratty and erstwhile junior conman Frank Abergnale Junior, who are the focal points in a true story of cheque fraud, identity scams on a grand scale and why you should really talk to your kids if you're thinking about getting splitting up.

From the trailers and TV spots, you might expect this film to be a lightweight romp but the actual end product has surprising moments of darkness and a flavour of the downbeat, mordant humanity which Spielberg has brought to many of his recent pictures. Sure, this isn't exactly Casper Noe's "Irreversible", but it does touch on the kind of adult, troublesome stuff - Abortion, bankrupcy, divorce, the scary sight of Christopher Walken as a US mail carrier - which Spielberg never used to bother with. In fact, for a few seconds at the beginning of this movie, you could be excused for believing that you've wandered into a remake of "Papillon" by mistake.

Admittedly, this is ultimately prime, Friday night fare - The kind of film that you can go along and see in the knowledge that you will be heartily entertained by: a safe, major studio produced, mass-marketed cinematic bon-bon which will, however briefly, gladden the heart and not trouble your noggin too much. As fluffy entertainment goes, though, this is pretty hard to beat.

Leo's better than you would expect. Hanks is reliably, sometimes hilariously great. And, naturally enough, CHRISTOPHER WALKEN IS GOD (just accept this simple truth and move on...).

It's light and dark, funny and serious, has a genuinely different John Williams score and feels as much like a Steven Soderbergh flick as it does a Spielberg effort - You're not going to be disappointed by this film unless you're the most disagreeable Anti-Hollywood bore ever to stalk the face of the planet, and if that's who you are, then there's probably no hope whatsoever for you, frankly....

Tuesday, January 28, 2003

"The Tuxedo" made me laugh two or three times, even if it is an example of Jackie Chan phoning it in and attempting to appeal to - shudder - a 'family audience'. We're talking more "Project A" than "Police Story", folks, so if that isn't your cup of bracing Dahjeeling, I would suggest giving Jackie's latest less than your fullest attention. Besides, your mate with the multi-region DVD player will probably have a Region One copy in about a month or two's time, so why not check it for free around at his gaff?

"The Transporter" is the most absurd film that you'll see this year, with its creepily sexist tone, deplorable excess of badly-sketched racist stereotypes, unrepentantly energetic use of painful, noggin-bashing violence and proud ownership of a leading man whose cod-American accent consistantly wanders farther afield than your average Lonely Planet guidebook writer. By all means feel free to go and see it, but make sure that you have the phone number of a good thread-and-needle artist in your mobile, as you'll require his or her services to sew up your sides after you split them bearing witness to an inexplicably shirtless Jason Statham handing out a good leathering to a posse of identikit, Kung Fu-flick derived, Italian Suited Bad Guys, taking a fine old macho pummelling in return and deciding to crack a few barrels of industrial oil open so that all concerned can get dirty, sticky and roll around a bit more, enjoying a good old wrestle whilst they're at it.

The words "Unintentional homo-eroticism" barely do justice to this torrent of hilarity: The Bus Depot fight in this movie is more camp than a Steps weekender at Butlins.

Quick, to-the-point movie reviews, ahoy!

"Chicago" is well worth your time, even if you hate musicals. For my part, I would rather eat soggy cardboard sandwiches than sit through most movie musicals (And yes, Baz Luhrmann, that is directed at you - see me after class...). Most critics seem to be of the opinion that this movie is a showcase for Renee Zellweger, hence her befuddling Golden Globes success. She's good, don't get me wrong, but this movie belongs entirely to Catherine Zeta-Jones. I've never really seen much point to her movie career, but she pretty much tears up the screen in this film. And, as a bonus, Richard Gere isn't at all punchable for once, which is surely a first in anybody's language.

"Gangs Of New York" has mostly been reviewed as an interesting mess, and as much as I would like to refute that school of thought, I have to say that commercial concerns have more or less conspired to torpedo a great chunk of this movie - I have all the time in the world for Leonardo DiCaprio, and have done since his work in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?", but it has to be said that this film suffers for his presence. Simply put, he pales next to Daniel Day-Lewis, who, as Bill the Butcher, is so memorable that DiCaprio's rosy-cheeked, photogenically-dirt-spackled Amsterdam Vallon fades instantly to cipher-status. Leading his army of Irish-American head-breakers at the climax of the film, DiCaprio looks more like a Bandana-headed scenester and self-styled Bad Boy, being photographed for a "Rolling Stone" cover, than a streetwise, threatening hood

Scorsese's dream project isn't a waste of time - It's frequently riveting, particularly in the opening, incredibly tense sequence showing the Irish 'Dead Rabbits' crew massing for an ensuing showdown with Bill the Butcher's 'Native Americans' - but you feel as though a sizable chunk of the flick is well and truly missing. Events head towards a blood-curdling fever pitch and then fade away unto nothing. The ending arrives with what seems like indecent haste, curtailing an expected climax to somewhat vexing effect. The final shot, and others throughout the movie, strive for lyricism and an obvious attempt to marry Scorsese's gift for eye-catching composition to the possibilities afforded by CG technology but seem to be foreshortened, chopped-up and just plainly compressed for no good reason other than multiplex running time considerations . It really is puzzling to behold and you have to hope that perhaps a director-overseen DVD release will finally enlighten casual viewers, interested fans and hardcore geeks alike as to what Scorsese was shooting for.

Monday, January 27, 2003

Click here to have your consciousness rattled good and proper, Wachowski-philes! At a loose end? Have five minutes? Why not Neo-zip on over to the official Wachowski home of funk on the internet and download the Superbowl teaser trailer, connection speeds permitting, for some movie or other which comes out in May (i.e., far too bloody long away)?

This site,which is staffed by geeks, for geeks, thank the maker, also has stills from the above, the bulk of which should get you all hot, bothered and bewildered....

Colour me all kinds of cinematically excited, and no mistook....

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