Thursday, July 17, 2003

One-line movie reviews (It saves space, don't you know?)

'Ghosts of the Abyss' is "IMAX-cculate in it's 3-Diculousness". Whereas 'Charlie's Angels - Full Throttle' is "A near-religious experience for anybody wholly obsessed with Cameron, Lucy and Drew's bottular regions". Which is all very good, but scarcely as universal a truth as the fact that Ang Lee's 'Hulk' is a "Fairly schizophrenic comglomeration of arthouse emotional cartwheeling and summer action flick, property-damaging stupidity (with the most insane performance from Nick Nolte you'll ever see, short of a night on the tiles with him)".

I don't believe that I've ever seen quite so many disappointed twelve-year-olds exiting a movie screening in my life, as I did when we saw "Hulk" last Saturday afternoon. I mean, if you hire Ang Lee then I guess that you expect to get something a bit different and perhaps not the undoubtedly brave, $100 million plus hybrid Greek tragedy/theatrical chamber drama with occasional tank-throwing set-pieces and mutant poodle onslaughts which Mr. Lee has delivered to a largely baffled movie-going audience.

It's ironic that the people who are potentially really going to enjoy "Hulk" - Ang Lee's general crowd of 'Film Comment' readers and 'Sight and Sound' subscribers - arguably wouldn't be seen dead in the general vicinity of the movieplexes presently screening this agreeably demented blockbuster.

I'm not sure that I enjoyed it, but it's a bloody interesting summer movie. I await Jane Campion's doubtless-in-the-works "Avengers" movie with what I can only describe as baited breath...

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