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Monday, September 22, 2003

Anybody up for some more One-Line Movie Reviews?

"The only frightening thing about 'Underworld' is the level of stomach-punchingly low Bass in the soundtrack - but it's still plenty o' pseudo-goth fun".

"'Le Divorce' is almost grounds for leaving anyone who takes you to see it and certainly begs the question of why anybody sane would subject themselves to a Merchant/Ivory film if they had other options."

"'Spirited Away' is one of the finest movies that you'll see all year - and that even applies to the unusually carefully-dubbed US version."

"'Belleville Rendez-Vous' is the kind of once-in-a-lifetime, skewed animation that defies adequate summary but demands your attention at any cinema playing it."

"'The Sin Eater'(aka 'The Order') is a head-spinningly unlikely follow-up to "A Knight's Tale", from director Brian Helgeland, which chiefly makes me wonder just how badly beaten by the Penguins he must have been as a child to grow up and subsequently craft such a resounding convincing, oft-scary and enthusiastically Catholic-baiting anti-romp like this crazed Heath Ledger vehicle-cum-failed Anne Rice saga."

"'The Italian Job' certainly isn't up to the task of defining a whole genre of crime flicks in the way that the 60's original did, but it is a fun, engaging and crucially Seth Green-centric blast which should leave you with a grin on your face if you can get over the Michael Caine thing for five minutes."

"'Blackball' concerns itself mainly with the uniquely British pastime of Crown Green Bowls. And, happily, also with the glorious sight of The Greatest Living Englishman, Johnny Vegas, ranting, swearing and appearing at all times gloriously dissolute. Do you really need any more reason to hand over the cash at the multiplex box office and pay for your ticket?"

More nonsensical piffle, as and when.


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